"Starry Night" vs. "The Potato Eaters"

 I was probably eleven years old when I started asking my father, an artist (and a great one), about Vincent Van Gogh.  "Starry Night" amazed me even though I only saw pictures of it in art history books, postcards, posters, and on the covers of blank cards.  I was sure that seeing the real thing would be extremely mind-blowing.  I liked "Starry Night" so much that I think, one day, my admiration for the famous Vincent Van Gogh painting led my dad to decide that he's going to make his own version of it.  

And so he did.   And I can see a beautiful "Starry Night" à la Peria whenever I want.  It's resting against one of the walls of our family room.  Sometimes you'll see me sitting on the sofa and assume I'm just watching TV, but sometimes I find myself just staring at its beauty.

Me and my dad… We're not as close as we used to be.  I think it's partially because of the fact that I've grown up.  And partially because we disagree about a lot of things.  Like, let's see… my studies, my eating out habits, my being a squanderer, my extremely messy nature when it comes to my bedroom, etc.  But if there was one thing that we agree about, that one thing would be ART.

We talk about art quite frequently.  Even more lately because I just saw IT.  "Starry Night."  Finally.  (Thank you, Mr. BF, for taking me to the Museum of Modern Art).  It was a great moment.  One that I will always remember.  So great that I'll probably grow old and senile one day, but I'll force myself to keep that memory in my head.  So here's how it happened, my first encounter.  I entered the gallery, holding the hand of the man I love, and I knew where it was because there was a crowd of people admiring it, looking at it.  I looked around at the other pieces closer to the doorway first, Matisse, Picasso, and then I couldn't stand it anymore.  It really drew me in.  Like a force I couldn't control from taking over. 

And there it was.  (more…)

He said. She said. (PART I: She’s HAPPY)

girl: I'm happy, but I can't tell you why. I'm just letting you know… I'm happy. LOL
boy: why can't you tell me?
girl: because…
boy: ok
girl: lol
boy: *muah*
boy: i'm happy that you're happy
girl: *muah*
girl: are you happy?
boy: yup
girl: :-) good
boy:  are you happy?
girl: lol
girl: I just told you that, baby
boy: just double checking
girl: lol
girl: well, I'm gonna finish my sentence now
girl: I changed my mind again. nevermind. lol
boy: oh come on
boy: please?
boy: lol
girl: lol
boy: you were about to spill the beans
girl: haha, no I was not
girl: I was gonna tell you WHY I can't tell you the reason why I'm happy
girl: Am I confusing you yet?
boy: not at all
boy: I follow you 100%
girl: good, lol
boy: you don't have to tell me why you can't tell me
boy: lol
boy: you can't… so you can't
girl: lol. I was trying
boy: but you can't
boy: cuz you changed your mind
boy: it's ok
boy: I love you, babe
girl: lol
girl: I love you too, baby
girl: I was typing it, though… and then I re-read it, and thought… "my bf is very smart… if I press ENTER he'll know WHY I'm happy." so I deleted the whole thing and decided I wasn't gonna tell you
boy: lol
boy: ok
girl: 
boy: that's fine
girl: ok
girl: sorry
boy: no need to apologize
girl: ok
boy: you don't need to be sorry, babe
boy: i'm just happy that you're happy
girl: *muah*
boy: i'm sure it's something good
boy: *muah*
girl:
girl: damn it
girl: now I can't stop smiling
boy: wow…
boy: is it that good?
girl: lol. yeah, it must me
girl: be
girl: *
girl: lol
girl: and now I can't even type
girl: haha
(more…)

Things that make me feel like "double bleh." (A List)

• Feeling neglected/uncared for.
• When things don't go the way I want them to.
• Being sick.
• When my MAC eyeshadow cracks like one island of sweet perfection breaking apart into many different, useless, tiny islands of misery and hardship.
• When my flowers die. Or seeing my flowers die gradually. Oh, the pain.
• When shopping, finding something I like and realizing the store doesn't have my size.
• Looking for something that's not there.
• Disappointing the ones I love.
• When things break.
• Loss.
• Failure.
• Misunderstandings.
• Unwanted  truths.
• Hidden emotions.
• Lies on top of lies on top of lies.
• Missing the boyfriend.

I'll add more when I think of them. Or as they happen.

Another Try

So, I guess that was wrong of me not to give a proper introduction. Haha. What was I thinking? Introducing myself through a pile of words, a mess of phrases even I can't understand. Bad Kathryn!

 Okay, here we go…

 My name is Kathryn. I am 21 years old. I'm still in college, and I aspire to be an aging specialist one day. (Whatever that means… just pretend you get it, k?) Yeah, I can be pretty demanding. lol. I work, and I hate it. I don't think I'm your typical 21-year-old. Don't be disappointed. haha. I'm just not into the parties/clubbing thing. Well, at least not anymore and/or not right now. I guess I grew tired of it all, too quickly I must add. See, I turned 21, partied like crazy(not that I didn't party before that)… and now a couple of months later I'm sick of it. My parents must be happy. At this point in my life, I think I've been thinking a lot about the future. Because for a while  I was really eager to be able to drink legally. And now that I can do that… I don't want to. And I'm really starting to think… when I get what I want, after a while do I just… stop wanting it? Or is it satisfaction? Contentment maybe? Sometimes I think I just want… MORE. Don't we all? I keep thinking to myself, there's gotta be more… than THIS. It's not that I'm not happy with my life. I just feel as though I'm missing out on something. Like, there's something I should be doing, and I'm clearly not doing it. AND until I figure out what that is… I'm not drinking alcohol. *crosses arms, glares at unopened Captain Morgan bottle beside my laptop* 

I'm a generally happy person. I just think a lot.  

My family, my friends, my boyfriend… They ARE my world. 

So, I guess that's it for now. Toodles.

An Introduction

I am as stubborn as a rock
And as clear as a golden misty sunset.
I am a mystery to myself.
I am fun, and I'm not emo.
Happy people have problems too.
I smile, I cry
I pretend and lie.
Sometimes I do all that
Without knowing WHY.
And I'll come to an abrupt stop
Once in a while,
And wonder
Am I making sense at all?
Or should I retrace my steps
Reconnect the dots
For once and for all?